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Hey homeschooler! The last time I shared 3 kids discipline lies that make homeschooling more difficult. I’m back with 3 more lies this week. If you haven’t heard the previous episode, I recommend you do so. Subscribing to the podcast makes it easier to find the episode.
Sponsor: Homeschool Mom Science Podcast
Before I deal with the topic, I would like to thank my sponsor for the episode: The Homeschool Moms Science Podcast.
This new podcast is specifically designed to help homeschool mothers teach and enjoy science.
The host is the father, scientist and former college professor Greg Landry.
– When which science middle and high school classes should be taken
– Why should you focus on the ACT with the laser and drop the SAT?
– What they learned from searching and selecting colleges for their daughters at school
– How science teaching should differ for likely primary and non-academic students
– Do you have a Palmaris Longus?
– What you should know about CLEP and AP
– The unusual advantage of daily graphing
– Your questions about science education were answered
– 4 mistakes in science lessons and how to avoid them
– And much more
Listen to this optimistic, encouraging, sometimes humorous podcast for homeschool mothers …
including the scientific history of Greg Landry, who met his wife.
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Now to today’s topic: 3 more child discipline lies that complicate homeschooling
The last time I reported “My child is an exception”, “I cannot discipline because my spouse and I disagree” and “My child should always like school, life and especially me.” These are all lies that cause you to neglect disciplining your child, which in turn makes schooling difficult.
Lie No. 4 The need for housework is common
The fourth lie relates to this misconception that children should like everything that is dealt with in Lie No. 3. I was amazed when parents suggested that it is common or abusive to have children do housework.
From the age of 4, my father was forced to work on an abusive uncle’s farm. The idea that children unload the dishwasher, do their own laundry, or help younger siblings is abuse. If you don’t work with your children around the house, your chances of doing the housework are probably too high. However, this concern is expressed not by authoritarian, but by passive parents.
Tasks train your children for adult responsibility. You learn skills and a work ethic. But maybe you think they have enough years to learn these things. They want children to have time to be children. However, there is another reason to assign tasks to your children.
Tasks build self-esteem. We all feel good when we have worked hard to achieve something. When your children help manage your home, they feel needed. I have been telling the truth to my children for years: I couldn’t do everything without them. Start a simple task schedule today. Ecclesiastes 2:24 says, “There is nothing better a person can do than eat and drink and find satisfaction in his own work.” Your child’s happiness requires some work.
Lie No. 5 My children should behave without rewards
As soon as I start sharing with parents how they can motivate their children with rewards, this lie is soon presented to me: my children should behave without being rewarded. You should do your homework and homework out of the goodness of your heart. It doesn’t matter that their hearts are not filled with good things. You are as human as we are. The fact is that we don’t do anything for a long time that isn’t rewarded because that’s how we learn.
Many parents do not understand that they not only do not reward children for good behavior, but also punish them. Here is what I mean. Your child writes the paper you have assigned. They look at it and point out any errors or comment that it doesn’t look as if a lot of effort has been made. Do not get me wrong. That could be true. I told my students that I know they can do better, and I get away with it because I usually reward them with praise.
We do the same with housework. Instead of acknowledging the work done, we draw attention to what has not been done. Our children will not be motivated to work even if they “should”. And that only makes sense. We would quit a job that withholds a paycheck, and we would surely quit a volunteer position that only grieves us. I know I have.
If you only discipline a child with criticism, shouting or punishment, you have to break out of this cycle and reward the slightest good behavior. It is not that your child “deserves” a reward. This is how children and even animals are trained. In Matthew 25 we read the parable of the talents in which the good administrator is rewarded with praise and more responsibility. God knows we all respond to rewards. If you want to learn more about your child’s motivation, you will find it my class on the subject here. It’s only $ 7!
Lie No. 6 It’s too late
The last lie I want to discuss with you today breaks my heart. After explaining the principles of good discipline, parents of even very young children will tell me, “It’s too late. The damage has already been done. “This is supposed to justify a continuing lack of discipline or tough discipline – usually in relation to an exceptional child. I will not hesitate to tell you that this is simply not true.
I know parents with adult children who use drugs, are in jail and are out of many failed relationships. You cannot make the right decisions for an adult child or even a minor child. But you can always choose discipline. In fact, Eli suffered in the Bible because he had not disciplined his adult sons.
Obviously, you won’t be able to turn your six-foot teen over your knee to beat him up soon, and you shouldn’t. But you can take consequences for lack of respect and bad decisions – just like any other adult. You can also reward a child for showing respect and making good decisions regardless of the child’s age.
The truth is that God doesn’t make you responsible for a child’s decisions. He makes you responsible for the discipline. The education that God expects from us includes teaching our children to honor God. In Psalm 78: 5-8 we read: “For he gave a testimony in Jacob and enacted a law in Israel which he commanded our fathers to make known to their children: so that the coming generation knows them even the children that should be born; who should get up and explain to their children: So that they can put their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And not how their fathers could be a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that didn’t set their hearts on fire and whose minds were not steadfast with God. “
We can spread the word of God to our children of all ages and start today. With God it is never too late.
Give your children chores, reward them with praise and privileges for doing the right thing, and start today because it’s not too late.
Thanks again to my sponsor, The Homeschool Moms Science Podcast.
Next time come to me to find out what to do if your child doesn’t really apologize. This episode has been delayed, but I promise to have it for you this time.
I wish you a nice week at school!
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