I’m not sure if I have the power to write a unique blog post about anything today, so I’m writing a blog post about many things here. It’s just a tin bucket of thought sludge tossed over your poor, unsuspecting heads.
Feel free to sound in the comments, let us know how you are doing.
I saw my first Cooper’s Hawk today. I was standing in the yard taking pictures of birch trees and the raptor landed on a tree right behind our crab apple. The photo is not particularly good, but I mark it for posterity:
Birds in general were a coping mechanism for me. Whenever I feel anxious or stressed, I go to the garden, find some birds, listen, then I reach for them and eat them. I just take them from the trees like fruit and put them in my mouth and haha no, I don’t do that, please don’t call me at BIRB POLICE. I mostly listen and watch, maybe take a few pictures if I can. The birds seem happy. Spring is here. They don’t care about our problems and it also helps me to fuck less.
I don’t know when it all ends. The president’s rhetoric suggests that there will be some sort of Easter miracle, that Jesus will come down and wave his god stick and everything will be fine. Then we can all look for the eggs that Christ laid over the land from his holy sewer. Or whatever that story is. And I think rhetoric works a little too – I’ve already received a few emails from local companies saying that you’ll be back in business soon, so get your wallets ready. And I just don’t understand it. How do you think this thing will go? Do you think the virus will just go away? Meanwhile, we all watch the numbers go up and down, and we see the US become the epicenter of the disease, and there are people who truly believe that we will magically return to normal. At least some Republican idiots are honest and say that we have to sacrifice people on the Mammon Altar to get back to business – “Sure, people will die, but you don’t want to miss out on enriching my 401K! Says a bloviating backpack. “We all have to do our part to die for the almighty dollar.”
I am suddenly glad that I have no book out this summer as originally planned. Be glad it will come out next summer. Then this thing will be “over” – not over as in, gone, but over as in, we will have enough information and maybe some kind of treatment and we should be over the mountain. It is difficult for authors with books. So if you can, try to help by reading their books. Amazon was completely incompatible with book shipping, but that’s okay because a lot of the Indies have focused on shipping – our local, Doylestown books, will deliver, FYI.
Perspective helps. I try to remember that each generation has its own abnormal fucking that it has to deal with. Spanish flu, World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, 9/11, whatever. And I would prefer this situation now than I did 100 years ago or 50 or even 20. The Internet has caused many of our problems, but it keeps us all connected when we cannot be physically connected. So perspective helps, but I think it’s also important to realize that this shit could have been a lot better. We are in a literally perfect storm of gimmicks – we have chosen a uniquely malignant tumor, it is an election year, we are hyperpolarized, science has been attacked, Russia wants us to sink into chaos, unrestricted and unregulated capitalism is rampant, The social safety net has been chewed by greed squirrels, our democratic candidates are probably targets for the very disease we have to fight. And so on. So, yes, we’re dealing with worse things, but it could go a lot better. We have to protect our election and get rid of Trump in November.
Our child is back in school, but distance learning. It’s hard, but things like Facetime help. He has contact with his teacher and the school has contact with us. It’s abnormal, but it has enough normal to soften the sharp edges of the current moment. We try to play it as if we were in separate submarines or spaceships. You can communicate with others in their other vessels, but you dare not step out so that you are not sucked into the void of space or swallowed up by the sea.
A tweet from Jodie Whitaker as Doctor Who made me cry this morning. I don’t know it would normally have done that? But those are strange times and I cried like a beaten baby. (Here is the tweetBy the way. You too can sob uncontrollably for a moment!)
Strongbad didn’t make me cry this morning, but made me laugh. This tweet here. I also think I got a letter from Strongbad? We bought the Trogdor game and then got a handwritten letter from … Strongbad to me the next day. Written as Strongbad. With a few additional Trogdor cards? Life is funny, but it can still be amazing.
Games also help. Like Animal Crossing I was talking about here. But also board games. We recently learned Azul and that was great. Actually bought a few games: Wingspan, Trogdor, Seven Wonders, King of Tokyo, Tsuro, um. Could it be? X-Wing learned but needed something that was for more than just two players. I also played Magic: the Gathering – the boy who was only eight years old has been playing for two years now and kicked my wife and I in the ass in the last game. (Note that we haven’t learned most of these games yet, but I find that YouTube – this swarm of scum and villainy – has been helpful in explaining how to play in a way that rule books generally don’t .)
My wife sometimes asks if we’re okay. And this question is so difficult to answer. I mean, individually, will we be fine? I can’t know that, but I couldn’t know before everything went down with The Cove, The Rona, the Trumptown Pox. No one is fine forever. Is civilization will everything be fine? Probably. Hopefully it will change. This whole thing has shown how important it is to prioritize the social security network – how a strong social defense of health and family defends our national and global interests through proxy. Disorder and disorder and greed at government and corporate levels make us all unmasked, and it’s easy to think, “Oh, that only fucks a few people,” but if it fucks a lot of people, it affects now Groups and society in general. Hopefully this thing throws a great terrible light on our ugly mistakes and the black light shows exactly where we sprayed the ceiling with our grotesque sputum. Or so. That is, it shows us what to fix and how to fix it. But does that mean “We’ll be fine?” We’ll be fine in the long run, but in the short term? Uff. No idea. I like to imagine that there will be turbulence on an airplane. Worst turbulence. The kind that hurts people and throws them from their chairs like popcorn. But the wings stay on the plane and we will find a clear sky. For now: Expect a lot of damn bumps. So, at the risk of sounding like a raging Twitterati grifter, buckle up.
Facebook is bad. But it was a nice place for more constant check-ins. My FB is a walled garden – it’s mostly people I met. I don’t use it much to share links or anything. Just check in. It helps. People talk about what it’s like in their corner of the world, wherever that may be.
The food is good. JFC, do you see how much my brain is broken? THIS IS BAD. IT’S GOOD. This helps. Anyway. Seriously, I have always loved cooking and this has been a bit more of a challenge in terms of what is available and what is not, but it leads to increased creativity in what I do. Kid also made cookies the other day, that was nice. I subscribed to a local meat and fruit / vegetable CSA, so I have it for myself. We are not yet fully cooking in the DEPRESSION-ERA. But I bought a lot of spam. Which honestly only replaces the spam load of fuck that I already had.
I am a miner. Am I trying to cut my hair and beard or just let go of this shit? HOG FUCKIN WILD? Maybe I’ll shave my head, grow my beard. Or shave the beard in a strange configuration. A kind of SINISTER RUNE. I need to figure out what to do with my skull.
Oh! Did I mention I’m writing this from the new writing shed? A post on that soon. It is currently economical, very echo-like. Just a desk, a computer, a chair. Photo here. I will set up the couch, bookcase, St. Andrew’s cross, aviary and occult reagents and then update all of them.
Anyway, here are a few more photos. (More on Flickr.) Bye for now.
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