Nobody told me that these funds are prohibited.
Here is the scene: The pizza delivery boy is on the way and I have just noticed that neither my husband nor I have cash and we know that the restaurant is not taking cards. My children, 8 and 10 at the time, are both at home. she both have moneyWhy don’t you ask her?
Yes that’s right. I borrow money from my children. And until recently I have never seen anything wrong with it.
I decided to report to friends, many of whom agreed that their children’s money was prohibited. A friend said, “I would prefer to overdraw before borrowing from my children.” I asked why. I mean, I’m not talking about taking money from them, I’m just lending it. Your answer? “It is their money to do what they want. I will guide them, but it is theirs. When I borrow from them, the message is sent that I do not have the money and how do I know I do if you need it? I’m not ready to take this chance. “
I have a son and daughter aged 14 and 12 respectively. They each have their own bank accounts and a supply of cash in their piggy banks. When they were younger, around 6 and 8, I gave them an allowance that I tried with age attach to the houseworkhow to walk the dog, do the dishes, take out the recycling.
Three years ago, when they stopped doing their jobs, I stopped giving them to them weekly budget. Still, they have money. The whole time. They save it from birthdays, holidays, and soda stands (no kidding – my daughter one day earned over $ 100). They barely touched the allowance they had received for years. In addition to their own bank accounts, they have a registered education savings plan and a shared savings account with me that holds their cash and bat mitzvah money. They are fine. And they don’t spend.
I never took them without permission and never borrowed what I can’t repay. But in the past six years, I have never hesitated to ask any of them for money when I am little. The pecking order is as follows: I. ask my husband first, then my children. Whether it’s $ 4 for the bus or $ 40 for paying the delivery person, I know they have the money and I know they don’t use it.
I wondered what my kids thought about borrowing their money and asked them. “What?” my son asked. “Why should I care? I don’t use the money. “My daughter agreed with him. However, many people I know believe that children’s money is inaccessible, that it is wrong – some even say abuse – to touch it. I have read stories from people who were traumatized the way their parents borrowed from them as children. I realize there is a difference between the odd $ 20 and plunging into their savings, but to be honest, I did.
We are a very transparent household. We talk about everything, including finance. A few years ago I left my job to write and ours Income took a hit. We never glossed it over for the kids, but at the same time it didn’t change their lives significantly. Last year I needed gap financing to cover the mortgage for a month. My son had just had his bar mitzvah and was quite red. I asked him if he was okay with borrowing me $ 700 for a couple of weeks, and he agreed. We even joked that he was the head of the house all month.
This year I told my daughter that I would probably have to borrow money from her Bat Mitzvah gift to pay for part of her Bat Mitzvah. She laughed and said, “I just want enough to buy a new laptop. You can keep the rest. “Of course I would not and I will repay what I borrowed, but I was moved by your answer anyway.
I get that borrowing cash from your kids doesn’t work for some people. I’m usually the first to say that Money and family don’t go together, but somehow that was never a problem for me. If my children ever asked me for money, I would give it to them. You know I would spend my last penny on them. The family cares for each other, and that’s how we do it in our family.
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