“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it lets go.”
I often write about finding ease in life.
This can result from a quiet but effective working day or from the clutter of your home.
Or learning to let go and continue in life.
If you learn to let go of a relationship, something else in your past, something that is just an unimportant distraction, or trying to control what you can’t control, you can free up a lot of the energy and time you spend on something Must use better and more fulfilling.
It is not always easy. But it can be life-changing.
In this article, you will find five steps that have made it easier for me to let go over the years.
I hope they help you too.
Step 1: Know the Benefits of Not Letting Go.
Why is it sometimes difficult to let go of something?
To be honest, there are advantages and benefits to not letting go. At least for immediate satisfaction and at short notice.
- You always feel you are right. And how the other person is wrong. And that can be a pleasant feeling and a way of looking at the current situation.
- You can take on the victim role. And get attention, support and comfort from other people.
- You don’t have to go into the creepy unknown. Instead, you can cling to what you know, what is familiar and safe to you, even if it is now just a dream of what you once had.
I have not let things go in the past for these reasons. I still sometimes delay letting go of things because of the advantages mentioned above.
But I’m also aware of the fact that they are something I get from not letting go. And I know they are not worth it in the end.
- What will be the long term consequences in my life if I don’t let go?
- How will that affect the next 5 years in my life and the relationships I have with other people as well as other people? with me?
The mixture of knowing how these benefits will hurt me in the long run and knowing that there are even greater benefits that I can achieve by letting go becomes a powerful motivator that urges me to do it for my sake and for that letting go of my happiness.
Step 2: accept what is and then let go.
If you accept what happened, it will be easier to let go.
Because if you are still fighting in your mind against what happened, feed that memory or situation with more energy.
You make what someone said or did, in your head, even bigger and more powerful than it could have been in reality.
By accepting that it just happened – that you were rejected For example, after a date – and after a while, something strange happens instead of trying to push it away.
The problem or your memory of the situation becomes less severe in your head. They are not as upset or sad as before. You are less emotionally attached to it.
This will make it easier to let go and continue with your life.
Step 3: forgive.
If someone does you wrong, you will likely experience pain for a while.
But then you have a choice.
You can refuse to let go of what happened. And instead, let it disrupt your relationship and repeat what happened in your head over and over again.
Or you can choose to forgive.
Accepting what happened for the first time can help make it easier to forgive.
Another thing you can do is not focus on forgiving because it is “something you should do”.
If you want, instead find the motivation to forgive for your own sake. Do it for your own wellbeing, Happiness and for the time you have left in your life.
Because as Catherine Ponder says:
“If you hold a grudge against another, you are bound to that person or state through an emotional connection that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to break this connection and become free. “
And that you forgive does not mean that you have to remain passive for your future.
For example, you can choose to forgive, but you can also spend less or no time in the future with someone who has hurt you.
Step 4: Focus on what can affect your life.
By reliving what has happened in your head again and again, you are not really changing anything.
If you don’t have a time machine, you have no control over the past.
And being distracted or concerned by things that you currently have no control over in your life doesn’t help.
So ask yourself:
- What can I focus my time and energy on to actually make positive progress or change in my life?
- And what is a small step I can take today to get started?
I have found that it is becoming easier and easier to shift my focus from what I cannot influence to what I do have influence over and over again – using questions like the ones above stop worrying and let go of what happened or what I can’t control.
Step 5: Let go of it again (if necessary).
If you let go of something that has happened, or a distraction in your life, then this may not be the end.
Life is not always so neat. The problem or distraction can recur.
Then let it go again.
I have noticed that every time I let go of something, it appears less and less and has less power over me.
In addition, this additional exercise will make it easier to let go in the future. Letting go is something you’ll improve over time, such as think optimistically in difficult times.
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