Would you like to avoid being dumped? Follow these great communication tips from relationship coach Chuck Rockey. You could save your relationship!
My podcast guest, Chuck Rockeydiscussed various options for not being unloaded. You can surprise his suggestions! He is a Princeton-trained software engineer who has developed into a dating and relationship coach and passionately helps clients gain more happiness and vitality.
Chuck takes pride in leading people to add new dimensions to their lives – such as self-acceptance, focus, greater connection, or whatever they want to add to their world.
Check out the show notes and listen to EP 388: Relationship Trainer Chuck Rockey – How To Avoid Losing Yourself.
This way you avoid being dumped
What made you switch from software developer to dating and relationship trainer?
While working as a software developer, I wanted to pursue issues that were more human-related. I went into management first, which includes coaching. I then took part in coaching training. One day I had a stroke and couldn’t see well enough to program. I had to find something else to do it. I did coaching and I love it.
What can someone do to proactively improve their relationship and avoid being fired from tension?
Open the communication channels by starting a confidential conversation. The tension can come from your relationship or something outside of the relationship.
This can be a difficult conversation, how do you go about it?
Choose a good time. Not when you’re tired, but both of you are relaxed. State your intent. You could say, “Is this a good time to talk? There has been some distance between us lately and I would like to find out what’s going on. “Sit back and listen.
There are some great listening techniques in neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Instead of paraphrasing, find a few keywords and repeat them.
When someone says, “I want to feel closer to you and have my freedom.” You could say, “Feel closer and freedom.” You will usually open up more. You will feel heard.
Another NLP technique is curiosity. You could say, “What does freedom mean to you? I’m curious. “See what it is for her.
Do you have any good techniques for centering yourself before having a tough conversation?
Meditate, slow down your breath and regulate your body. Also keep in mind that you are both capable adults who are able to handle this. Come to talk with the expectation that it will be fine.
How can someone go one step further and possibly create more harmony and closeness in the relationship?
After your partner shares and you think you understand what he said, decide how you could have contributed. Then share what is going on in the relationship for you.
What do you do when your partner is reactive?
If you repeat a word or two, you will be reassured. Taking a break also helps if you notice reactivity. “I notice that the conversation is getting a little hotter. Let’s take a little break and come back to it later. ”
When do you know it’s time to end it?
It is time to go when: there is a lot of bullying or abuse, or your partner keeps tearing you down instead of supporting you, or when you talk about something good that has happened and you are put down. This is a problem for your self-esteem and your relationship. If your partner is not ready to work on the relationships and the joy has gone from the relationship, it may be time to stop.
What are some questions you need to ask before starting a relationship so as not to be fired?
Do you know if your values match. You need to research the things that are important to you and what you want in a relationship. For example; Adventure, honesty, a caring relationship. Then you can start looking for it in others. Then look for common interests and life goals.
When you date, mitigate the questions so that it doesn’t sound like an interrogation. “I’m curious” is a great way to do this. Slow disclosure is also important. When you ask someone about their passions, ask them what they love about them. If it is important to them, they will reveal who they are.
What are your last pieces of advice for those who want to go on their last first date?
Ask about your date: “What makes you glow right now?” Once you deal with values and what motivates them, you’ll deal with them more deeply.
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