Do you take your partner for granted? Below are some signs you’ll need to appreciate your partner more.
Life has a way of getting busy and sometimes making us shift our priorities in ways that may not be the best. Do we focus on one of the most important things in our everyday life, the most important person for whom we should be grateful? In the work of a couple, I find that this is often not the case.
Signs that you take your partner for granted
Our partner is someone we should be thankful for, but do we take him for granted? One of the most common reasons why people start couples therapy, or at least one of the most common complaints, is that their partner takes them for granted.
So I found it useful to review clues that your partner takes for granted and how you can correct them. You never want to be in a position where you have a partner who wonders if you are interested at all. You want to appreciate your partner more and be sure that he knows every day how important he is to you.
When couples come to me to work intimately and emotionally on their connection as a couple, I let them do an exercise for a week or two. I ask every day whether they say something face to face, send a text, write a note, or send an email to tell the other person something they value about each other.
It doesn’t have to be something big, in fact it is often better if it is the little things that they think you don’t notice. Believe it or not, couples love this exercise. Often, they either want to expand it as an “assignment” or it is something that they would like to practice regularly in their lives. This makes them feel valued, more connected, and increases their preference, which has been subdued by feelings that were taken for granted.
When we are less clingy, our partner feels unloved and separated from us. It takes so little to show loving gestures like a goodbye or a hello kiss. Does your partner feel insecure and needs your confirmation because you haven’t told him for a long time that you love him and how important he is to you?
Another problem raised above is when you seem to have shifted your priorities and don’t take the time you once had for your partner. A relationship is a living and breathing thing. Your partner needs to know that they always have priority and that you are there when they need and want you. This should not be misunderstood in an unhealthy way, but in a way that promotes healthy coexistence.
Start appreciating your partner more
Speaking of course: we should make every effort to say “thank you” to our partners for everything they do for us. The feeling that their actions and victims don’t count can make everyone feel self-evident. Do they always have dinner ready for you? Has your toilet paper and paper towels been magically replenished without you ever asking?
Are your favorite Keurig mugs always full and there? Are your clothes magically washed, dried and put away? I will let you in on a secret, it is not magic, it is your partner. They do these things because they love you and to make your life easier, let them know how much you value them. If we don’t feel valued, we don’t want to go out of our way to do these things. However, if we are regularly informed that we are valued, we will be more than happy to help you.
The key here is to tell those who are closest to us how grateful we are to them, not only on vacation but on a consistent basis. To rebuild the closeness and intimacy that may have been lost by taking it for granted. It is so little effort to say one thing each day that we appreciate from the other, say thank you and do some kind of act. These little efforts can bring so much reward and build such a strong relationship,
A relationship in which everyone’s love is free, expressing gratitude, shows that they love and know that they are loved. This is the basis of a strong and genuine relationship. A couple who know the lesson of not taking things or taking each other for granted is an enlightened couple. If you practice this kind of gratitude and appreciate your partner year-round, if you make him part of your life, you are way ahead of many couples and, in my humble opinion, have a great chance of a strong relationship.
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