A guide to how a father deals with sons and daughters with Michael Gurian Father

According to Columbia University, children who have a bad relationship with their father are more likely to drink, smoke or use drugs by 68%. How can we strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s leading experts on gender and the brain and was called “The People’s Philosopher” because he brings together everyday life and scientific ideas. He is the best-selling author of the NY Times for thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael gives us the three most important reasons why today’s children don’t connect with their fathers. He teaches us to discover our fortunes as fathers and to invite our children to use them. He also shares the neurosciences that lie behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters and how we are the best father for every gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the bestselling author of the New York Times and has published 32 books in 23 languages. He provides consulting services in his own practice. The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, does international research, starts pilot programs and trains specialists.

Michael has done pioneering work to establish neurobiology and brain research in households, schools, businesses and in public order. A number of his books have sparked a national debate, including THE MIRACLE OF THE GIRLS, THE MIRACLE OF THE BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARNING DIFFERENTLY!

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two-year pilot study that established best practices for the education of boys and girls. These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are used today in schools and communities worldwide.

Michael is one of the world’s leading gender experts. He travels to around 25 cities a year to give keynotes at conferences and to speak at schools and in communities. Michael has worked as a trainer and consultant for universities, businesses, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the different cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been published in almost all major media, including New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, Wochenschau, Zeit, People Magazine, Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, Christian Science Monitor, Educational Director, American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook and on the Today Show , Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What you will learn

  • Michael’s mother was mentally ill and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his father was 80 years old.
  • Michael needed 10 years of therapy to process his trauma. The therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He has been married to his wife, who is also a psychological counselor, for 34 years. They have two girls, ages 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s wedding tip: set up domains as a couple. Find out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do so. This prevents you from trying to control each other.
  • Why should you publicly congratulate your spouse.
  • Michael’s book, The stone boysand why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences by gender starting in the uterus.
  • Why do we need to better understand the male experience
  • How culture overrated men and lost the sense of value in a father’s masculinity
  • Fathers are 50% of their children’s support and development. They have to play a role in their children’s lives.
  • Why children don’t get in touch with fathers
    • Divorce and custody proceedings typically disparage the father.
    • The father abdicates the mother or others because he does not understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father does not ask the child to use it for his or her assets. It has to be present. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation. Fathers and children can enjoy sports, movies, video games and other activities.
  • Don’t be too revealing. Children want structure.
  • How to be authoritative not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is designed to be more active. More blood flows to the working part of the brain.
  • Women have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connecting to emotional parts of the brain.
  • Why women form ruminant loops that lead to depression and anxiety.
  • How fathers listen to their daughters ruminating, finding the right time to get in, doing a reality check, and making suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How fathers can help their boys express their feelings
  • What special activities can fathers and their daughters and sons undertake to strengthen the bond?
  • Find out who you are as a father and what your wealth is.
  • Find common interests with your children. Ritualize these things with your children so that you can present yourself as a father.
  • Measure what your spouse is doing. What did it cover? Where can you close the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal care
  • How trauma affects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma – If your child is suddenly withdrawn, angry, or isolated, it may be traumatized.
  • More children are traumatized than we think.
  • How the father spirit works organically in family dynamics. Trust him and hug him.


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