Loss is a normal part of life. Everyone on this side of Genesis 3 has bad days, everyone mourns, everyone sins, everyone makes mistakes. In the end it is not like that if we will suffer, but what we do with it counts. Healthy sorrow is an expression of the value of life – how much we appreciate it, how much goodness and love we find in this life. When we mourn, we quarrel Kindness and love, Here are a few ways that could help you in this fight:
First, find a way to pray that suits you for this season. Do not bother about how someone else prays or how you prayed on your good days. Find a way to talk to God that works for you now,
When my mother died, I found that what had worked for me in my prayer life did not work for me in this valley. When she was most ill, I simply could not pray my own words. I remember telling my pastor that I have no more prayers. But in my grief I discovered the psalms. I remember sitting in bed at night reading the psalms and thinking about how they said everything I could ever say to God … and More, I have fed from them. I had not been a big fan before, but for the first time in my life, the Psalms really meant something to me.
Because the Psalms are written for people with pain, they may be a good place to start when you find it hard to pray. YouVersion has some great reading plans through the psalms. One that I've looked at and that could work for you is called Journal Psalms. The last line of the first day is: "I do not need to know why, as long as I know the one who knows why."
Let others pray for you. I think that's what Paul was talking about when he said that Romans 8: 26-27 that the Holy Spirit helps us in our need. He says that there will be times: "We do not even know what to pray for or how to pray, but the Holy Spirit prays for us with a moan that can not be expressed in words, and the Father, who is all Knowing the heart, knows what the Spirit says, because the Spirit asks us in accordance with God's own will. "
There will be times when you do not know what to pray for. There may be times when the best thing you have is moaning. When these times come, be at peace. You are in good company. Sometimes the Holy Spirit moans. Do not try too hard in these times, but grab something. Ask others to pray for you and cherish hope for you. And ask the Holy Spirit to pray for you as well.
Be honest with God about your feelings. Settle down in a fetal position in December, have a chat with the cashier at Walmart, or look for people you might want to get out of for only a few hours sound I like good ideas right now, but they may not be the best choice. When things feel desperate, remember that it is no shame to grieve, and that God does, while others may not understand. It's okay to be honest with him about your feelings, even if they are not sanctified. Psalm 23 tells us that our shepherd will walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death. Sometimes this valley is spiritual and this shadow is a doubt, but the word promises that it will be close even as we pass through the valley of death.
It's okay to be happy. I hope you have good days this season. I hope you find reasons to laugh, relax and even for a few hours feel that things are alright. Soak in these moments. It's okay to be happy and to remember the good things. The one you miss wants to make sure you have good days and a big smile on the way.
Maybe you had no losses this year, but people around you have. How can you best be with them in a time of year when you may not be in the same emotional place? Here's a thought for you (or maybe a thought you can share with someone trying to help you in your grief): Try to understand, rather than repair, Clichés are not helpful, especially those that have no biblical basis. God does it Not need another angel (and if he does, he can do one). Everything works Not happens for a good reason. And even if God will give us strength to deal with anything, we do not always do it want be strong. These are usually not the best encouragements for someone who grieves, but to be there. Just being present can make the difference between depression and happiness for someone who feels lonely. Why do not you call and ask a grieving friend to have lunch or to make a movie or a walk or a coffee? And if they refuse, that's fine. Come out in about a week. Mourning is funny: what we do not want today (or simply have no energy) is exactly what we need next week. Be patient with these swings.
in the Psalm 23David paints a picture of a table laden with a feast to which we are invited. We are not only invited, but the Psalm tells us that our enemies must be careful while we eat. They will not be with us. Imagine! There you sit at a table full of good things, and all your sorrow, worries and disappointments are not invited. You get to feast, but your grief is not fed. Jesus invites you to the feast, but your suffering and pain are not invited. Your mind is nourished at this table, while everything that brings forth death starves to death.
Imagine sitting at this table with Jesus. Will you thank him for this feast? Will you thank him for giving you a seat at the table? Thank him for the feast of grace and justice that leads to life. Thank him for being your shepherd, your provider, your protector, your savior. Thank him for groaning over you in your sadness and not letting you stay in the valley, but accompanying you through the valley.
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