From: Greg Douglas, LMHC
They want nothing more than to save their marriage, but your partner seems ready to get a divorce. They tell them that they are ready to join the couple counseling, but they are skeptical.
Why couple counseling may not work for you
What? Does a couple's advisor really tell me that consulting a couple does not work? Yes, in a situation where one partner is leaning forward and the other is leaning forward, the couple counseling will probably not work. Many people enter into counseling in this situation in order ultimately to seek the salvation of their marriage.
The problem is that counseling without serious effort and motivation has no chance to work. Good couple counseling works, but both parties must be on board.
The perfect option: discrimination advice
Fortunately, there is one form of counseling specifically designed for couples with a "mixed agenda". Discrimination counseling is very different from peer counseling because the purpose of discrimination counseling is not to repair the marriage but to decide whether you are both willing to try it.
The goal of discrimination advice
The purpose of discrimination counseling is to gain more clarity and confidence in deciding on the future of your marriage, based on a deeper understanding of what happened to your marriage and each one's contribution to the issues.
How it works
Discernment Counseling offers you 3 ways:
Path 1. You decide to continue your relationship in the current form
Path 2. You choose a separation and divorce
Way 3. You decide to do everything to agree the next 6 months, including counseling couples and other assistive methods
How long does it take
The distinction counseling is limited in time and will be completed within a maximum of 5 sessions. Each session of Distinctive Counseling lasts 90 minutes and includes the time it takes for the couple to meet together and individually with the counselor.
The benefits of decision-making
• Since you do not engage in couples therapy and actively try to "work" on the relationship, the rejected partner feels less threatened and more willing to participate.
• Both partners can be sure that they have taken the time to make a thoughtful decision about their marriage or relationship, regardless of which path they choose.
• You are much better prepared to begin counseling for couples (if you opt for Path 3), as you have in-depth knowledge of your contributions to the topics in the relationship.
• You begin by advising couples, knowing that each one of you is prepared to make the necessary efforts to achieve a lasting change.
How to start
The first step in this process is a brief telephone consultation to make sure that you are well suited to differentiation counseling. Greg Douglas, LMHC, has received advanced training in Distinctive Counseling and helped hundreds of couples build closer relationships.
If you believe Discernment Counseling is right for you, call Douglas Counseling at (561) 207-1903 or visit us online at www.DouglasCounseling.com.
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