Build resistance in your tween or teen – if they just told me Family

A child is not easy to sail. It can be even more stressful than
to be an adult … especially if you reach this intermediate stage and the early teens stage, though
Life is a social field of thought for playground politics, mobbing, team selection,
Social media and who is friends with whom / what makes / the latest trend /
go on vacation and do the funniest things …

Children are getting older and starting to graduate from elementary school
Work really starts. Life becomes more competitive, you have to start taking it
Tests and exams to see where they fit in the classroom, they must begin
Provide more power, eg. For example, in public, the expectations of doing homework are higher
and expectations of ability and behavior are higher.

Start getting spots, braces, and hair in different places
Develop faster than their peers, which highlights them at a time when they attract attention
really everything they want to do is mix in …

In order to
How do we help our children navigate through these exceptionally difficult times?
be consistently resilient. Face an unfriendly word and bounce off it

A good news is that resilience can be taught.

Another news is that we also need to learn how to kick one's more anxious parents
instead of trying to make everything right for our child.

That's how it is
#1 – We parents have to learn that
To help our children become more resilient, we must step back and allow them to do so
Face the problem and try to solve it yourself instead of trying
Solve it for her.

back and have the belief that they can work it by themselves. Do not burden her
with your own fear.

# 2 Give your children age-related freedom If they For example, stop with 10 to meet them at the school gate, meet them
continue down the street or across the street.

At the age of 11, they can independently go to and from school

You are 12 and learn how to get a bus.

they can go to the park alone or in the dairy.

It is
Our job is to give our children the confidence to deal with their daily lives, and we can do it
Only do that if we give them freedom first.

# 3 Teach them to solve problems by normalizing them

them to express their problem and work out possible solutions with them

if you go to school camp and have never left home,
Organize nights with Nana or friends in advance to get used to them
to be away from home

# 4 Do not give all the answers

If your child is worried about attending a new school or doing sports, then it's better
Then you say, "You will love it". Help them figure out how to get through them
You can make the most of it by B. help to practice starting a conversation
with someone

Son finds it difficult to meet new people, so we have different ideas from
Opener for him eg to which school do you go? In which year are you?
Which sports do you like? Do you have Fortnite? Etc

# 5. Let your kids make mistakes

"Failure is not that
End of the world. This is the place to go when you find out what to do
Next, it is difficult and painful for the parents to confuse children. But it helps children
Learn how to fix slip-ups and make better decisions next time.

if a child has one
Assignment, anxious or overprotective parents usually want to make sure that the
Project is perfect, even if your child is not interested
first place. But let your children see the consequences of their actions.

Likewise, if yours
Child does not want to go to football training but stay at home. Next time they will be sitting on the bench and
probably feel uncomfortable.

my son's speech – had to find out for himself. I felt so proud of myself
after that.

# 6. Manage emotions

Emotional management
is the key to resilience. Teach your children that all emotions are in order and that it is so
OK, to get angry that you lost the game or someone else has finished your ice cream
Cream. Also teach them to think after feeling their emotions
by what they do next.

For example, you could say
Your child: "I understand that you feel that way. I would think so too, if I did
Were in your shoes, but now you have to figure out what the next one is
Step is. "

When your child throws
a tantrum, be clear which behavior is appropriate (and inappropriate). she
could say, "I'm sorry we do not get ice cream, but that's the behavior
unacceptable. "

# 7. Model stability.

Of course, children too
learn by watching the behavior of their parents. Try to be calm and consistent
You can not tell a child to control his feelings while you are
you yourself are freaking out.

education takes
a lot of practice and we all screw it up. "If you make a mistake, admit it.
"I really screwed it up. I'm sorry that I handled that badly. Let's talk about a
dealing with it differently in the future. "

Resilience helps children to master the inevitable
Tests, successes and suffering of childhood and youth. Resilient children
also become resistant adults who are able to survive and thrive in the face of life
unavoidable stressors.

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